Where do I even start?

Should I start with our "pool" overflowing from all of the rain and having to make an emergency trip to Home Depot to rent a pump?

Or should I start with the swarm of ants I discovered in the laundry room and the bug company is closed for the afternoon because of an award ceremony?

Maybe I should start with it beginning to pour down rain as I pulled up to Goodwill to unload my car?

Oh no, I know. I'll start with Emma learning a horrific bad word at school today. That got your attention, didn't it? So I'll start with that one.

In the car today, on our way home from Home Depot:
Emma: I read a bad word on a pole at school today.
Me: What did you do about it?
Emma: I told the teacher.
Me: Well, it sounds like you handled it.
E: Do you want to hear what the word was?
M: Sure (I'm thinking it's butt, or stupid, or dumb)
E: It was F***.
M: (my ears begin burning, internally I'm freaking out, I start sweating, I almost drive off the road, I can't believe my sweet baby just said the worst word in the whole wide world) My goodness, that certainly is a bad word.
E: What does it mean?
M: Well.....uh.......it's a very bad word that sometimes adult say when they're mad. And you need to know that it's such a bad word I don't ever want to hear it come out of your mouth.
Grant: f***, f***, f***
M: Um, okay, that's enough, we're not saying it anymore.
E & G: Okay.

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!

Bye bye Emma's childhood. She now has a curse word in her vocabulary that she'll recognize if she hears it again. It's a word her ears are familiar with, her eyes are familiar with, her mouth has said. I'm incredibly sad about the whole thing. And completely horrified that I heard both my kids utter such a horrible word today. I really need to figure out a livable bubble for each of them.