Garden Update

Here's a picture of the garden, just about one month later. Isn't the change incredible? Some of the plants look a little wilted because it's the heat of the day right now. But they all perk up as the sun goes down. That's the pumpkin that is pouring off the side of the planter box. And the tomatoes are growing tall in the back. The only thing I'm worried about is the sunflowers, the plants growing out of the pot in the middle. I read yesterday they often have roots which grow 9 feet deep. Oops. We'll do them differently next year I guess!

The lure of the diving board

Yesterday we went to a birthday party that was at a neighborhood swim club. When we arrived, it was adult swim only, so the kids headed over to the wading pool. But a short while later the big pool opened up and the kids descended on it. I was in the shallow end with Emma, with a vague idea of where Hubs and Grant were. After chatting with my friends and playing with Emma, I started to look around and noticed a line of little boys extending from the lower diving board, and and equal number of dads in the pool along the wall. A boy would walk out onto the board, the corresponding dad would swim out to catch him, they'd swim to the wall together, and then the next little boy and the next dad would take their turn. Mixed in with the boys and dads was Grant and Hubs. Over and over and over again the little boys would jump off the diving board, pop up with a smile on their faces, and ask to go again. 30 minutes later dinner came off the bbq and many a tired dad climbed out of the pool to refuel for the next jump-a-thon.

Movie Night: Take Two

Hubs is out of town this weekend, so we borrowed Toy Story 2 from a friend and had another movie night. Once again we compromised with Emma's table and Grant's chairs in the living room so the kids could eat dinner while they watched. The menu was string cheese, popcorn, apple slices, blueberries, and ICE CREAM! They each chose the Ben and Jerry's single serve chocolate fudge brownie and yummed their way through dessert. It was a fun evening, and the kids have been pretending to be Woody and Jessie the cowboys ever since.

Swim lessons

Well the first round of swim lessons is over and everyone made progress. Both kids had private lessons with a friend who has at the same level. Grant is infinitely safer in the water than he was before. He started putting his face in the water while kicking around, and using very rudimentary dog paddle. He went down the water slide 2 times yesterday, and jumped off the diving board 3 times.

Emma is working on real freestyle instead of dog paddle, and jumping off the side in the deep end. She learned elementary back stroke and water rescue. And she swam across most of the short deep end! She chose not to ride down the water slide or jump off the diving board, which was no surprise.

They are signed up to start their second session on Monday, Emma in private lessons with the same friend, and Grant in the Otters group lesson (which only has one other kid enrolled right now).

Yum!

This was dinner tonight:

Balsamic Skirt Steak

I paired it with the wilted garlic spinach you can see on the left of the plate, and some crusty bread from the bakery. We all four loved it, although Grant had a hard time chewing it unless I cut it into itty bitty pieces. This recipe also solidified my love for Cooking Light magazine!

Father's Day

We had a chill Father's Day this year. Hubs took the kids up to his Dad's house to bbq and swim, and then I joined them after church/ work. We spent most of the afternoon there, then headed home to tuck tired children in for an early bedtime. I joined my Dad and brother for a nice outdoor dinner along the river. We each liked our meal and we stayed so long we were the second to last people to leave. We had to slink out the patio gate to get to the parking lot!

Liar liar pants on fire

That's what I find myself wanting to chant to the kids just about every day. The lying around here has gotten out of control, with the kids casually dropping lies multiple times a day. They lie over ridiculous things like whether they've brushed their hair and they lie about big things like who threw the dirt clod at my car. And they've both perfected their poker faces so it's nearly impossible to tell if they are lying or telling the truth.

I feel like I've tried it all - direct confrontation, time outs, ignoring it, lecturing on trust and lying, lecturing on not lying to your parents (and teachers, and friends, and finally, JUST DON'T LIE!), pitting them against each other (with the dirt clod incident they both sat silently, back to back, on the driveway until Grant finally confessed it was him who threw the clod). What's a mama to do when summer is just starting and both kids are lying?

Finally, after a morning full of petty lie after petty lie (who threw water on the mirror, who left the toothpaste out, who slammed the door, who left the book in the hall), I sent them to Emma's room with a paper and pencil and told them to work together to create a list of consequences for when they lie. Based on the nagging to come sit down and stop playing that was occurring, I think Emma shouldered most of that task. Their list includes the following:

1. Take away too stuffed anamals.
2. Not watchen TV for the whole day
3. Not haven a stoy at bedtime
4. Takeen a way a favrite toy for the day
5. To have a 5 meunet time out.

So basically, when I catch them in a lie, they walk, with their heads hanging, over to the list, peruse it while repeatedly assuring me that they'll never lie again, and then grudgingly decide on a consequence. So far Grant has had a 5 minute time out and Emma has lost a bed time story.

They also remind each other not to lie or they'll have to chose a consequence, a nice little side effect I hadn't planned on. We'll see how much longer this is effective.

8 young kids in one cabin

Our small group, minus one family, spent the weekend together in a cabin in the woods by the big beautiful lake. So four families, each with two kids, with Emma being the oldest at 5 1/2 and Ella being the youngest at 18 months, and then 6 boys in between. Sounds like a sarcastic blast, right?

It actually was really fun! We hiked through the woods to a meadow for a picnic, only to turn right around when said meadow was instead a lake of winter snow run off. The boys and dads built a quick little fort around a tree by our deck, complete with each boy getting a turn with a hand saw and a hammer. We rode bikes, and soaked up the sun, and played in the indoor hot tub, and climbed small hills of packed snow. We went down to the lake and threw stones and waded until we couldn't stand the cold anymore, and played on the beach playground. We ate family style, learned just how much coffee everyone consumes, and realized we aren't the only ones whose children don't sleep through the night and then get up with the sun.

It was an awesome beginning to our summer.

Author Interview with Shelly Radic

I feel so lucky to be able to have email interviewed Shelly Radic, Chief of Staff of MOPS International, and author of Momology: A Mom's Guide to Shaping Great Kids. She's also a mom to four kids, so she gets it. Enjoy!


Can you share a little bit about the research that went into Momology?

The research being done on parenting and families is extensive. To shape the content and better understand what moms are most concerned about, I spent several months reviewing research done by agencies and organizations such as the YMCA, Search Institute and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services as well as reviewing the thinking of multiple parenting experts, current university and government research as well as mom websites and blogs. About 1,800 moms of preschoolers also responded to surveys specifically for Momology. Momology is also based on what MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers, Intl.) has learned in over 35 years of working with moms.


What are some of the daily practices a mother can do to intentionally develop finesse as a mother?

First and foremost a mom can be intentional about spending time loving her children and getting to know them. Attentive listening and watching, first to baby’s cries and expressions, later to a preschooler’s dialogue and body language in describing how sprinklers work provide clues to who our children are. Finesse is personalized for each child and knowing your child is important in every situation.

Second, listen to your intuition. If you think something seems wrong for your child or your situation, think long and hard before saying yes. Even if it means making a different choice from all your mom friends…or your mom.

Third, be willing to try and fail without beating yourself up. Often it takes several tries to find the right technique or solution for a situation. Decide ahead of time that every failure provides opportunity to learn and moves you closer to a solution. Keep trying until you find something that works.



Why do you urge mothers to be lifelong learners? How does that relate to their parenting?

Four reasons.

Moms who are lifelong learners better understand and interact within the complex, ever-changing world we mother in.

Moms have children who are constantly learning and changing. This requires that moms constantly assimilate new information about and for them into our mothering repertoire.

Moms are gifted with amazing mom brains and we should steward that gift by honing skills, diving into topics we’re passionate about and developing something new. Lifelong learning opens up options for our own future and fortifies a resilient mom core.

Moms who model lifelong learning to their kids are more likely to have kids who are lifelong learners.


Your statement about how easy it is to let cultivating relationships drop to the bottom of the to-do list really struck me. As a mom to four children, what were some successful strategies you used to cultivate and maintain friendships while mothering young children?

Routine. For instance, when my younger two daughters were in kindergarten, I met with a mom friend every Monday after we dropped our girls off.

Join. One of the best things I did as a young mom was meet with other moms on a regular basis. I was part of a MOPS group and a stroller walking club, but it could also be joining a gym with another mom or organizing a neighborhood play date.

Volunteer. Some of my deepest friendships were formed as I volunteered. Work with another mom in the church nursery or organize a group of moms to visit a senior center once a month.


I love your chart on engaging young kids spiritually. What types of things does your family do as you are raising your children? What are some of your favorite family traditions that also help your family grow spiritually?

For many, many years, we had a designated family night. Often (but not always) that included time to pray for others- our Compassion child, a missionary family, friends with specific needs. It also included a Bible story or concept. Wrapped around that was time to have fun together.

Holidays were also opportunities for spiritual development, especially Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving. We read books and enjoyed Advent calendars and Easter eggs which offered opportunity to engage with the Bible stories. At Thanksgiving we still share what we’re thankful for, but when my kids were little we made a Thanksgiving tree, writing those things on the leaves.

We also prayed together in the mornings, at meals and before bedtime. It was part of our routine. As we read books, Bible stories were included in the mix on a regular basis.

Church attendance is a priority, above sleep-overs, sports and other activities.

We also engaged our children in service from an early age, delivering meals, collecting canned goods, filling shoe boxes with small gifts; small, hands-on opportunities to do good for others.

Intentionally incorporate the spiritual into every aspect of life. That’s where it belongs. I do wish I had been more intentional about one-on-one spiritual mentoring, especially as my kids got older. Faith is unique to each person and in retrospect I can see my kids were dealing with unique faith challenges that I wasn’t addressing with them.

Blog Book Tour #3

This time, I was excited to read Momology: A Mom's Guide to Shaping Great Kids by Shelly Radic. I was excited to read it because it's the book for the new MOPS year!

I wasn't disappointed. Although it talks about shaping great kids, it really helps to shape great moms too. Starting with a mom's "core", which Radic defines as "a mom's unique, inner self, including her temperament, life experiences, emotions, passions, and potential", Momology walks us through becoming great within ourselves so we can become great moms. By learning who we are as women, we set ourselves up to become greater moms. How validating is that? Spend the time you need to spend to get YOU figured out, then you can rock as a mom. Awesome.

Part two, "finesse", puts the first piece of who we are together with the second piece of being a mom. Radic defines finesse as "artfully rendering the brief sketches that make up our daily routines so that, little by little, they form together into the desired big picture." Doesn't that pretty much sum up your daily life as a mom of young children? From attachment with your child to taking time to take care of you to discipline, the section on finesse gives pointers, advice, and a bit of cheerleading that every mom needs. Daily.

Raising kids isn't just about you though. It takes a village, or "circle" to raise awesome little people. Your circle is "the people and networks who share in shaping your family environment". From your neighbors to your friends to the people who bag your groceries every week, your circle is having a large influence on you as a mom and on your kiddos. Radic reminds us that relationships are important, even though they are sometimes hard to focus on while immersed in family life. From the outer ring of acquaintances to the middle ring of friends to the inner ring of parenting partners and marriages, Momology covers it all, and it's importance. It's a chapter I need to re-read every year as a self check on how I'm doing with maintaining and growing my "circle".

Finally, Radic brings it all together with the final chapter on "grandscape", or the broadest view of life. Discovering God's love, accepting God's love, and finding your purpose in the "grandscape" is the final piece in shaping great kids (and great moms). I turned over page corner after page corner, nodding my head yes at so many things I was reading. Hands down my favorite was a chart on engaging young kids spiritually. It was full of ideas that ranged from simple (pray before sharing a meal) to grand (sponsor a child in another country), but all of them brought together the previous three pieces of the book to create family traditions that feed everyone in the family spiritually.

Sprinkled through the book are snippets from real moms, opportunities to go deeper at mom-ology.org, and deep thought questions that would be awesome for journaling or small group discussion.

Stayed tuned for my author interview with Shelly Radic, I'll post it later this week!

Happy Reading! Momology: A Mom's Guide to Shaping Great Kids is available June 2010 at your favorite bookseller, from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.

Angel Island

The big field trip for the Kindergarten classes at Emma's school is a day trip to Angel Island. Yesterday was that day and it was a blast! Hubs took the day off and the three of us headed out early in the morning, excited to hike around the island and study the ecosystem. With Emma as our ecosystem expert, and a guide book the teachers had put together, we were set. Grant was excited to spend the day with his bestie, and his bestie's mom, and to have pepperoni pizza with Granny for dinner (as he would tell me, "not any pizza, PEPPERONI pizza").

With a group of classmates/ friends, we hiked to Mt. Livermore, the top of the island, noticing the copious amounts of fog the entire way. What should have been spectacular views of San Francisco and the Bay, was instead a whiteout of fog. But the wildflowers on the way were beautiful, and Emma spotted many mole holes (on our guide book check list for hikes) and an ecosystem "recycler" aka mushroom. The hike we took back down to the beach promised beautiful views of Mt. Tamalpais and the Marin Headlands, but alas, it too was a whiteout of fog. However, one of the boys had the find of the day when he spotted a tiny nest full of tiny speckled eggs buried in the side wall of the trail. It was awesome, and the kids chattered about it the rest of the way down the trail. We spent the last hour on the beach, watching the kids splashing, chatting with other exhausted adults, and basking in the newly emerging sun.

If you ask Emma her favorite part of the day, she'll answer without hesitation, "The ferry ride! And then we got to ride the ferry AGAIN!" I'll agree, the ferry ride was pretty awesome, but my favorite part of the day was spending the day with Emma and Hubs in the beauty of Angel Island. I'm already looking forward to Grant's Angel Island trip.

Laundry

I load Grant's laundry into the dryer, shut the door, turn it on. Open the door to investigate the weird sound. Three rocks and a straw fall out. Close the door, restart the dryer, no more noise.